A Teacher's Heart

Teenagers are awesome. Invest in them, love them, be patient with them, listen to them, ask them questions, challenge them, push them, comfort them, but above all else...believe in them and open your heart. I promise you will be surprised. In honor of all the articals I like so much called "twenty steps to ______" here is my own version...

Here are my 5 steps for taming the beast...

Step 1: Giving them the time of day
Many teens these days are locked to their electronic devices. Don't be hatin'. They aren't trying to be rude. They just get to keep in touch with their friends and the world much faster and more often than we ever dreamed possible. Don't be jealous because its something you aren't used to. I'm sure they said the same thing about walkmen and cordless phones with my generation and I think we survived to be decent adults...most of us anyway :) They point is that they usually respond and interact with you if you show a bit of interest. Try talking to them. Disclaimer: you might have to ease them into the idea or text them about it first.

Step 2: Find out what is important to them
This week I discovered that my students didn't want to play an epic game of capture the flag or even dodge ball when I substituted Phys Ed. WHAT!?! Por que no DODGE BALL!?! (also...there are no accented letters on my keyboard...I have Korean letters instead - be kind). They don't like it and that's OK. I got to watch an AMAZING game of soccer - they have skills! It was so fun to watch them do something that they love!

Step 3: Encourage them
Find out what they love, what they are afraid of, what challenges they are facing. I can tell you it is SO much more than I was experiencing as a high school student! They are unsure of themselves; insecure to the highest level. This is well hidden as egotistical, rude, rash, and emotional. All it really is (deep down) is them guarding their hearts from the pain of failure and rejection. Come to think of it, they do exactly what we all do...guard numero uno. They just aren't as smooth about it as we adults like to think we are. Don't push them away...PLEASE don't disregard them. Encourage them and invest in them. Time, resources, skills, love...give them what they need to flourish. 

Step 4: Don't kill them...or slap them...or strangle them...or cut them off...
They will frustrate you. You will get offended and angry. They will be rude, obnoxious, embarrassing, apathetic, and annoying sometimes. Just let me assure you that we all survived to this age because someone didn't kill us along the way either. As a teacher, six years into my career, I still apologize to my parents on a fairly regular basis for the general 'teenage time' of my life...Mum and Dad - sorry for being a teenager usually covers it. We aren't better than them. We just know how to handle ourselves a bit better. Be a good example of grace and humility so that they grow into humble, graceful adults. (I know, easier said than done!)

Step 5: Believe in them (and the goodness of their hearts)
They will surprise you, humble you, bring you to joyful/proud tears, and fill your heart unlike any other group of humans on Earth. 
Today I got to see my students test their suspension beams. They gathered around one another offering help and advice. They gasped with tension as more weight was added. They ooooohhhhhhhhed when others succeeded. They squealed when the beams finally snapped. They high fived (which is a rare occurrence culturally) and beamed with pride in calculating their successes. They reminded me that believing in their ideas and designs helped them succeed. My heart was full!
Today I got to have a rare teacher moment. If I were a crier, I would be in a pile of tears at my desk right now. I helped a student after school. She and I don't particularly get along, but she is never an issue, she has just been distant. I spend about an hour walking her through practice problems and topics she was unsure of. I believed in her skills and encouraged her to spend time trying. She struggled, I encouraged, she questioned, I encouraged, she got frustrated, I encouraged. I invested and she rewarded me. We talked about her interests, she asked about mine, and we bonded over our shared interests and life experiences. I opened my heart to her and she filled it with joy and pride. She cared about me as much as I cared about her and she reminded me that teenagers are awesome!

Those five steps to taming the beast aren't an exact science, but they usually work. Today, consider it tamed...and in case you were confused, my heart for teenagers is the beast...its always me, not them.