The Great Exchange

I have always enjoyed the word 'Hello'. It marks the beginning of something new and opens a whole possibility of doors. Even as a child, I was pretty outgoing and making new acquaintances, even new friends, has been easy for me for as long as I can remember. Somehow it is a bit harder as an adult to open some of these doors. Somewhere along the line, our hearts get a bit harder...more guarded...less excited at the idea of intertwining our lives with new people. I have made a conscious effort this year to not be afraid to say 'hello' and to reach into the lives of others, but it all comes with a cost. 

Its my own fault. I chose a profession where 'The Great Exchange' is just part of the gig. I can tell you, that half of me thinks its one of the best parts of my job and the other half of me thinks its for the birds! Lately, I it has been way more than half of me leaning toward the latter. The international teaching community is a transient one and hellos come just as quickly as their exchangeable counterpart..."good bye." At this moment in my life I can simply say that I am not a fan of the good bye part of the Exchange.  I recently read one of my favorite quick fix type articles about things you should be doing for yourself...a list of 15 or 20...you know the type. This list will change your life types that flood the internet (that I not-so-secretly love and waste entirely too much time on!). One of the bits mentioned that you can't keep every person and every friendship alive forever. Such wise words...and I don't like them at all right now!

As some of you know, my heart has experienced a few tough blows and the challenge of letting people in has gotten much more real for me. Healing takes time, and I have taken that time. There is also a part of healing that requires you to move forward...and I have done that this year too. I have gone all in on a few relationships with others this year and I have been loved, challenged, supported, moved, torn, ignited, and stretched. I have come out on the other end a better, more refined, more alive version of myself and for those people who have helped form me, I am truly grateful. I have had more great people enter my life than some people experience in a lifetime. 

Lucky...I am SO incredibly lucky and blessed that I get to keep a few of these people just as close for another chapter...chapters...books of my life. Shout out to All the Single Ladies!! 

Its the other pocket of people that I have had to part ways with that makes my heart hurt. I know for some of them, it will be 'see you later...not as often...but later'. Those are a hard adjustment, but it also casts my net of friendship to new parts of the world - how cool is that?!? I am still thankful for my friends back in the US that are a regular part of my life even though I jumped across the ocean to set up camp!

Its the tiny bundle of people that 'this is goodbye, and that is that' which makes my job hard...

There are some people with whom I just don't have the same overlaps in life with that would be necessary to continue being parts of each other's lives. This rips on my heartstrings (chordae tendineae...heartstrings are a real thing - look it up!). It seems like this shouldn't happen. If people are important, they will always be important...I am here to tell you that sometimes that isn't enough. Sometimes trying to keep those ties is unfair to both people. (Just for clarification...unfair and unwanted are two very different things). 

Thanks to the beauty of netflix, I watch a considerable amount of How I Met Your Mother and, although cheesy, they always talk about people in your life and that 50% of the battle is timing. This is so incredibly true. These relationships are usually 'if we were in a different place/different time it wouldn't be this way.' Timing. This group of people don't drop off the face of the planet, but they do drop out of my world which is equally as painful. This is the group that sometimes makes saying 'hello' so hard, because they exchange that with a very permanent 'good bye' at some point. 

All in all, it is worth it every time. Worth every moment, every memory, and every part of me that hurts when they are gone. Having them in my life has changed my heart. 

Thank you to all the people who have been part of the ride this year. We have sailed the high seas of adventure, been through some rough waters, and come out on the other side with stronger hearts...and probably stronger heads as well. 

People come into our lives differently...some for a reason, and then they quickly go...some for a season, and then they fade...some for a lifetime, and we should cherish that.